Pressure - How it Builds and How We Manage It

Pressure can mean a lot of thing in life. It can represent the pressure we feel from others to do well on a task. Perhaps the pressure we feel when studying for a big test, or the pressure we feel when we’re on stage to perform; the pressure to drive safely or cook a dinner that tastes good.

It can be as miniscule as it wants, or as impactful. Ultimately, the people around us decide that.

But what happens when we ourselves are the source of the pressure? No longer are you waiting for the praise from your coach or parents - teachers or friends. Instead, now you’re relying on an inner monologue to determine what is considered ‘good enough’ or not. And based off of personal experiences, its often that inner dialogue that skews the perspective we as humans have on what pressure is, and how we allow it to build to points beyond where it should exceed. And alongside that, the way that we end up handling it.

Recently I obtained a new title at work; a step up from the position I’d been working in for five years. With this new title came new responsibilities. A new team, a new manager, a new pay, an entirely new expectation of me as I stepped into this unfamiliar territory in an industry I thought I was comfortable in.

And, as so the theme will dictate, pressure builds.

I have put an immense pressure on myself to learn every aspect of this new job as quickly and efficiently as possible. Pressure to get everything right and to be able to match the work flow and quick speeds of my co-workers, who, mind you, have been doing this for years. A pressure that made me feel inadequate in my role as I struggled to find my footing. Every mistake was a piece of proof that I wasn’t good enough.

This theme has showed up in my life many, many times. Any time I had started a new hobby, I had an expectation of myself to be able to master the skills that I saw so effortlessly executed in 30-second clips on Instagram or YouTube. And who would have known the little blips of content would cause such heartache over my inability to be as good as everyone else?

But this pressure just didn’t exist from anyone else. I didn’t make promises to people that I’d make a masterpiece for them, or cook a fabulous five course meal that Gordon Ramsey himself would scarf down. Nor did my co-workers who were training me or the associates I worked with expect me to understand everything I was doing right away in my new position. But I did.

And if we let this pressure continue to build - continue to bubble up and spoil, it will burst, taking us down with it.

These toxic mentalities that we force upon ourselves hinder our progress so much more than it will ever help it. All of the times I’ve started projects and never finished them because of a frustration at it not turning out exactly as I’d planned? All of the tasks that took me so much longer because I repeated them in hopes of perfection as opposed to growth? They are all experiences I look back on.

I implore people, just as I implore myself, to take a step back and give yourself grace. Grace to learn. To make mistakes. To accept failure and embrace it as a means of learning as opposed to a definition of who we are. Every mistake is an opportunity, and opportunities are what we make of them.

TLDR // Don’t beat yourself up just because you aren’t an expert the first attempt you make at anything.

Until next time!